A Take on Feminism

I think I’m gonna write this since it has been on my mind for quite some time but i never really want to seriously address the issue until I realize that lately, i have encountered so many experience that are upsetting but did not really know how to start a discussion. (Disclaimer maybe this sounds like ranting but anyway this is my personal blog)

If we’re talking about disappointment, then, it is intuitively came from expectations we’ve had initially towards something. My expectation began at spring 2015, where it was my early months of moving to Japan, at a dinner with an Indonesian family i knew from Indonesian Students Association at Kyoto. The father, the husband, was pursuing a master degree back then. This small Indonesian family actually have been living in Japan for some years, they lived in other city before moving in to Kyoto. Little did I knew, they move to Kyoto after the mother, the wife, finished her PhD at that other city in Japan. At that time, my 18-year-old self, thought (and I still am, actually) that it was very cool for the family to decided on that. As a girl who’s been told by a lot of people that most men are not willing to marry a woman who has higher academic degree than him, or that a woman should not settle with a man with lower academic degree than her, the story that I heard during this family dinner enlighten me that after all not all men feel insecure or intimidated by the higher status of his partner. I came in to this new community of Indonesian living in here, and I found it amazing because it turned out it was not only this family with this condition. I witnessed other families with same condition too. I saw young couples who moved here because the wife has to pursue her academic here. I saw dads take care of their babies while moms go to school. Of course, they each have different contexts and conditions, but still, I think that this small community of Indonesian, especially the men, have a very progressive view on gender role in family, and on feminism. Unfortunately the reality does not cater to my expectation. Recently I encountered more and more evidence through what they called it as “jokes” (which are not funny but instead, uncomfortable for women), or small talks, discussion about relationship between man and woman.

Before I came to a new realization that I am actually a feminist, I did not want to be one. It was because I had this stereotype about feminist that they were always grumpy, they hated men, and they did not like to dress up– which is one of my very favorite things to do. So then it never occurred to me I wanted to declare myself as one. But then, I always find a conflicting perspective with most men, that are actually my friend and are around me, about women’s right or equality or about gender roles. And I find that my perspective are actually in line with feminism idea, and I want to stand for that and to speak about that. I have been trying and I am still trying to educate myself about it, How not to be a (quoting the internet) “fake woke feminists”. Especially when I found some critics that came from self declared feminists about principles in my believe. For example, why women have to be behind men when praying together in Islam. That kind of critics honestly frighten me and made me more reluctant to like feminism. It gets very confusing sometimes, but as an advice from Saoirse Ronan after listening to her podcast with Scarlett Curtis (Feminists don’t Wear Pink podcast), it is okay to not figure it all out. Let’s learn and learn and learn. Besides, I do think we, women, have more important issues to talk about such as equal pay, equal opportunity, gender role, or how women should value ourselves.

Continue reading “A Take on Feminism”

A Take on Feminism


Hello, it’s been a year!

I’m finally at the last year of my undergrad study. Sooo it is finally the time for me to do my undergraduate research. Long story short, I entered Disaster Risk Management Lab that I have been wanting to enter since last semester’s lab visit. I have been here for four months already and i quite like it except the fact that it took around an hour and half to go to my lab from my house, since most of engineering labs in Kyoto University located at either Katsura or Uji (which are way too far from the main campus).


Anyway, on the past four months I– well basically my supervisor has decided the research theme that I will do for the second half of this year and I also help my supervisor project at Indonesia with asean which requires some translations and writings. Basically, I did not have much trouble with the first one (sometimes use google translate though, lol) but I really am having trouble with the second one which is none other than… writing. I actually should highlight that it means a scientific writing but, honestly, i know im just sucks at writing, as I mentioned the reason why I wanted to kickstart this blog for the first time.


I just realized that it has been more than a year I write to either myself or to people who actually read my blog, except I also write instagram captions, hehe. Being in engineering school with those calculations and formula is not an excuse not to write, i guess? I also feel quite “empty” since I consume (internet) content too much on daily basis without being able to express one.


It seems harder to express my ideas into coherent writings more than, for example, presentations or general discussion since presentation or discussion is done by directly interacting. In case of presentation on lab seminars, my professors and lab members could give me direct feedback, I can explain directly parts that they don’t understand from my idea. The difficulties I found during the research project that I’m doing with my professor (the project with asean one) makes me quite afraid to imagine what it is like in the autumn semester to finish my own thesis. So I guess, it is just right to practice writing again in this blog.

so.. yeah… Hello (again)!


March (&February) Highlights

I finally cheated! It has been a very busy vacation. I got to do a lot of work on holidays so let’s get into it.

on music

Rather than just the top 50 playlist I had on spotify that I currently listen to, I would like to share some gems I found on the internet.

021 – Emir Hermono ft A. Nayaka & Rayi Putra

Skyline – FKJ (!!!stranger things inspired mv!!!)

예뻤어 – DAY6

on movies



on life

At the beginning of February I had been working for the first edition of Interaksi, Magazine from Indonesian Students Association in Japan (PPI). I shouldnt brag about this because I personally think many things are lacking, hehe. However I still feel delightful to finally work on something (I can say) I am quite passionate about, creating a zine. If you know me for some time, you might know I have been always doing things related to media and stuffs but never really work on magazine after I graduated high school. It used to be fun in high school. One of the things I remembered the most.

I also went here and there. Few times to Tokyo, and a ski trip to nagano. However the highlight must be my second visit to Seoul. I just got back from Seoul two days ago.

There’s always something about this city that makes me excited.

It’s fascinating to finally test how far my Korean ability goes, and I’m surprised. I actually can have a conversation with the taxi driver or a shopkeeper. I mean the long ones, hehe. It’s fascinating for me because I can’t even do it in Japanase. They kept asking me where and how did I learn korean and I can only answer “I watched drama a lot, sometimes without subtitles”. So, moral of the story: you have to be interested enough to its culture in order to learn the language.

March (&February) Highlights

January Highlights

Since I was actually had no big holiday plan for February, I first thought my days will be spent by watching movies, napping, reviewing cafes, and blogging. Turned out this is the month in which I spent most energy at, so that I am in a rush for making my promised post; The Monthly Highlights. So here it is, my January Highlights

on movies

La La Land

“This is movie for dreamers,” was what Emma said at her winning speech on Golden Globe. Despite labeled by many as overhyped movie, I really think you should go watch them. Fr me, this movie made it into list of my favorite movies of all time. Maybe it was overhype because Damien Chazelle successfully brought back musicals into movies or maybe because City of Stars, its soundtrack, will stuck into your head for a while.

on music

How Do You Think – CHEEZE

Another song that is analogous with an old jeans, you can never go wrong with them. This piece from CHEEZE is perfect for your lazy weekends, commuting time, or even at times you want to hear sad song. For me, this song depicts what relationship is; you’re wondering what your partner up to, or questioning how will this end. Lastly, I think it’s quite odd or funny or I am not sure what is this really about, but as far as I know 어떻게 생각해 is used when you want to ask “What do you think” instead of How do you think.

on life

A lot happened at January, I surely said this every month. On new year’s eve, I spent it with my Indonesian friends (and at this rate I count as family, I guess) and the day after I went to Tanya’s house to celebrate new year in Chinese way; we made dumplings and I watched Chinese New Year Show that is aired every year in China and we watched movies and drama until late night. In January I actually spent most of the time studying for finals and actually went through my finals, thankfully, successfully. By now I received all the score results, I am not sure whether I really did good or it was just most of my professors finally realized the level of difficulties they gave at exams, or in short it was just them being kind. Because I seriously think I didn’t do my best at this exam period. This time was the System Analysis exam where I went to toilet in the middle of exam for maybe 15 minutes? because I had an extreme stomachache and therefore couldn’t finish my Knapsack programming problem. Another time is when I forgot to bring calculator minutes before Advanced Calculus exam.

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January Highlights

2016 : Things I did, Places I went to.

I officially finished my semester after enduring a two-week of final exam roller-coaster ride, which marked another step of my academic journey. Sometimes I feel sad and anxious and insecure about it because many of my friends are going to finish college this year, but most of the time I’m not. Moving to Japan was the hardest, but then again I think the best decision that I made, or God has just turned it that way. What I’d really like to point out is my life in here has been full of surprises and experience that I never thought of before. I think I will have a whole note about studying abroad in a different post. Here I’m just going to list all memorable places and things I did during 2016.

Continue reading “2016 : Things I did, Places I went to.”

2016 : Things I did, Places I went to.

December Highlights

Because it’s January and I promised myself to write this every single month so here it is my December’s highlights

on music

Starboy – The Weeknd

I surprised myself for liking the whole album cause I’m not The Weeknd’s fan, which means I didn’t listen to his songs. I didn’t even like the hit single Starboy at first but I kept humming his “I said look what you’ve done.. and imma imma starboy” which is totally addicting. After I watched the promo video of Starboy album titled M A N I A, I love Sidewalks (which !!!fyi featured Kendrick Lamar!!!) at the very first try. I started listen to this album and couldn’t stop that it’s so hard to choose my favorite track. Like it fits to my different moods and I could just play any song without skipping. If i really need to choose then I’ll pick True Colors, Sidewalks, and Die For You.

On the other note, I also listened to 24K Magic a lot during December (especially “That’s What I Like”, I guess).

on series



On describing what Skam is about : Many people says Skam is a Norwegian version of Skins, with less drama. SKAM hits Norwegian teenagers by storm since most Norwegian teenagers thought SKAM portrays the real situation on what happened at their schools (maybe it’s because the creator did the research across the country for two years, to find out real issues among Norwegian teenagers). SKAM dealt with relevant issues for adolescent these days; feminism, homophobia, islamophobia, but most of all we see how the characters dealt with their own ups-and-downs while growing up.

Continue reading “December Highlights”